I'm a specialist. Wait a sec, no I'm not.


merthurian-legend:

decibelsandpaperbacks:

This week on Tumblr:

It’s a metaphor. You’re a metaphor. I’m a metaphor. Your keybord is a metaphor. Everything is a metaphor. The universe is turning into one giant metaphor on a molecular scale. Run. It’s too late.

Hail hydra

stupidstagram:

U ever been so tired ur eyelids burn when u blink

wow these jeans look great
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but they look familiar
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oh

jaclcfrost:

[drops a hint] [drops a few more hints] [trips over them] [knocks over a table]

icarly-official:

if you use the bible as an excuse towards being anti gay dont forget that:

  • shrimp
  • pork
  • obesity
  • torn clothes (like ripped jeans)
  • wearing clothing made from 2 different fabrics
  • cutting your hair
  • shaving
  • tattoos
  • and working on Sundays

are all listed as abominations in the bible as well

tastefullyoffensive:

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Hue Jackman

zeeday:

timmypuddin:

*picks the hottest cashier at the grocery store*

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accidentally thinks about something awkward i did three years ago
me: nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
loserpoet:

it’s a metaphor

loserpoet:

it’s a metaphor

lieutenantbites:

the-unpopular-opinions:

If you live in any of the places highlighted in red, I automatically assume you are unintelligent. You are all nothing but a bunch of uneducated, backwards, racist, crooked teeth, inbreds who couldn’t properly speak your way out of a paper bag. First of all, it is a FOOTPATH not a SIDEWALK. Second of all, it’s called a FIZZY DRINK not a SODA. Third of all, they are called SHOPPING TROLLEYS not SHOPPING CARTS. Fourth of all, your accents are beyond atrocious, and going back to basic 1st grade speech classes will be in order. I am so glad that most Americans do not move out of their region. Even if you’re not a stereotypical hick, you all still have hick-like qualities about you.
So please, just know that if you are from Noth America, I truly and honestly believe that you are beneath me. I pity your educational systems (and drivers ed as well). If you’re from the US and you EVER in your life try to get into an argument with me, I will laugh at you in your face. You’re not worth my time. I hate the way people from Canada talk as well, but I can tolerate that much more than I can any american accent. I am extremely privileged to be living in a European country. Where I was born and raised alone proves that I am far more intelligent than you are. If it ever came between a US citizen having a job oppurtunity and someone from a civilized place such as me, or somebody from Russia or Asia or Australia, we are more likely to get hired. Just keep that in mind.I really don’t consider Alaska a part of the US, so you all are excused. 

look how mad this person is not because america is shitty
but because we have accents and talk differently

"crooked teeth" HA
at least we have a decent dental plan to get it fixed

lieutenantbites:

the-unpopular-opinions:

If you live in any of the places highlighted in red, I automatically assume you are unintelligent. You are all nothing but a bunch of uneducated, backwards, racist, crooked teeth, inbreds who couldn’t properly speak your way out of a paper bag. First of all, it is a FOOTPATH not a SIDEWALK. Second of all, it’s called a FIZZY DRINK not a SODA. Third of all, they are called SHOPPING TROLLEYS not SHOPPING CARTS. Fourth of all, your accents are beyond atrocious, and going back to basic 1st grade speech classes will be in order. I am so glad that most Americans do not move out of their region. Even if you’re not a stereotypical hick, you all still have hick-like qualities about you.

So please, just know that if you are from Noth America, I truly and honestly believe that you are beneath me. I pity your educational systems (and drivers ed as well). If you’re from the US and you EVER in your life try to get into an argument with me, I will laugh at you in your face. You’re not worth my time. I hate the way people from Canada talk as well, but I can tolerate that much more than I can any american accent. I am extremely privileged to be living in a European country. Where I was born and raised alone proves that I am far more intelligent than you are. If it ever came between a US citizen having a job oppurtunity and someone from a civilized place such as me, or somebody from Russia or Asia or Australia, we are more likely to get hired. Just keep that in mind.

I really don’t consider Alaska a part of the US, so you all are excused.

look how mad this person is not because america is shitty

but because we have accents and talk differently

"crooked teeth" HA

at least we have a decent dental plan to get it fixed

d0nn0:

jxydx:

Imagine a world where dogs do not exist………

no

r0wdyruff:

help me, i am trapped

in a haiku factory

save me, before they

shingeki-no-flute-fluff:

lithefider:

glorious-godofchaos:

reyairia:

pirateking92:

“That’s your otp”?

“They’re just friends”

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“That’s your otp”?

“But they hate each other.”

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“That’s your otp?” 

“But they’re not gay.”

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"That’s your otp?"

"But they are like 2 feet apart in height."

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"That’s your otp?"

"But one of them is dead."

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